Ever felt dismissed by the medical community? If you live with a chronic illness, rare condition, or even just persistent symptoms, chances are you’ve walked away from a doctor’s office feeling unheard, unseen, or outright dismissed.
I’ll never forget one of the most defeating moments of my own journey. After years of pain and strange symptoms, I finally stumbled across information on Dercum’s disease—a condition that seemed to fit me perfectly. I poured hours into research, collecting several published papers and carefully highlighting passages that mirrored my reality. Armed with evidence and hope, I brought everything to my primary care doctor. She barely glanced at the stack of papers before handing them back to me with a dismissive smile. “This is really rare,” she said. “You don’t have that.”
In that instant, I felt so small. All my preparation, my desperation to be taken seriously—it was brushed aside in seconds. I walked out of her office second-guessing myself, even though deep down, I knew in my bones that this had to be the answer.
Why did that dismissal hurts so much? That moment wasn’t just about one doctor. It was about the larger pattern so many of us face when living with a chronic illness: being told our reality doesn’t fit neatly into medical boxes. Doctors often rely on what can be measured—labs, scans, “classic” presentations. But conditions like Dercum’s, connective tissue disorders, and many rare diseases don’t always show up cleanly on paper. And when doctors don’t have immediate answers, some default to dismissal instead of curiosity.
The ripple effect of this event didn’t just sting—it shook my confidence. I second-guessed myself for a long time, even after properly receiving Dercum’s as my diagnosis. This is what happens to so many patients: delayed diagnoses, unnecessary suffering, and the erosion of trust in the very people who are supposed to help us.
What I wish I’d known then: your symptoms are real; just because a doctor doesn’t understand them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist; you’re allowed to push back; a dismissive doctor is not the final authority on your body; self-advocacy isn’t selfish. Sometimes the only way forward is to keep searching for the provider who will finally listen.
If you’ve ever walked out of an appointment feeling invisible, you’re not the only one. I share this story not because it’s unique, but because it’s all too common. But I don’t want you to feel alone. THERE IS a community out there who understands your experience and your pain. Please feel free to share in the comments any experiences you’ve had with providers who have failed to listen, gaslight you, or treat you.
I’d love to hear from you—have you ever been dismissed by a doctor? How did it make you feel, and what helped you keep going? Your story might be the encouragement someone else desperately needs.
